ad astra ] inbox

[thirtythird]

@ wlawford
room 023; bunk 025 (with loki odinson)
text ✰ voice ✰ holovid

basic information | general permissions | cr chart

Comments

[thirtythird]

[There's a wave of relief. There's a wave of the familiar sensation of safety while being held this way by these hands. Then everything settles into the comforting wash of adoring and feeling adored, warm and easy and entirely natural.

His own fingers catch tight hold at the back of his husband's shoulders, clinging to the kiss.]

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki deepens the kiss with a whine, fervent, needy. like a crescendo in his heart. he had to make sure william knew, that he felt every beat of loki's heart against his own. ]

[thirtythird]

[It isn't words, but the sensation is absolutely deafening. This is palpable; this is reality, as best as he's ever felt he understood it.

It's impossible to break from the kiss, but somewhere in the breathlessness of it all, a soft murmur of] I'm certain of you [manages to escape into the lack of space between them.]

[dothelokimotion]

[ he breathes it in, swallows it whole. he can taste the salt on his own lips. his fingers tremble. ]

I — I'm trying.

[thirtythird]

You are.

[He's certain of that as well. He feels it through the back of his own skull as he presses his forehead to Loki's almost painfully hard.]

I see it. I know it.

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki chokes down a sob, pressing his palms against william's neck, his thumb brushing against the lines of his face. ]

As long as you do.

[thirtythird]

Of course, my own. [The truth gets easier and easier, day by day.] Do you? Do you-- know how much you're trying? Do you see yourself?

[dothelokimotion]

[ he shudders. ]

I think so.

[thirtythird]

[Nodding hurts a little, foreheads still pressed together too tight. It abates slightly as he shifts for another needy kiss, fingers tensing further at Loki's shoulder.]

You can do this, love.

[dothelokimotion]

[ he grasp william's wrists, like lifelines. ]

Will you stay?

[thirtythird]

Of course.

[Now. Forever. It's all the same tangled ball of devotion.]

There's nowhere else I'd rather be.

[dothelokimotion]

[ his shoulders sag in relief as he presses his lips to william's palm to still the trembling. ]

[thirtythird]

It's rotten, lonely work, mo chridhe, but I promise you you are not alone.

[Saying isn't fixing, but it has to help a little.]

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki gives a jerky nod at that. ]

I know. I . . . I know I'm not.

[thirtythird]

Good.

[His hand shifts, cupping gently at his husband's cheek to angle for a firm kiss to the forehead.]

God, but I adore you.

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki manages a tremulous smile as he manages another kiss to william's wrist, right over the pulse point. ]

Thank you for . . . coming to get me.

[ a pause, wavering. ]

Long ago, I . . . fell. I let go. I looked into my father's face and I saw nothing. I was falling and falling and I think — I think I was screaming. Beginning. Time and space — it lost all meaning. I don't know how long I was there.

All I knew was . . . no one came for me.

[thirtythird]

[His own breath comes with a soft shake, settling the new point of knowledge into the patchwork of Loki.]

You've been taught your own worth so poorly.

[dothelokimotion]

Thor told me once long ago that they mourned. They all did.

But I know it's not true. Thor may have mourned. Even my mother. But no one else would have.

[thirtythird]

Does it... help, darling? [His nose bumps lightly against Loki's.] Thinking on that?

[dothelokimotion]

No. They're all gone and I'm — It shouldn't matter but I wish I had. I wish I did.

[thirtythird]

Did?

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki hesitates. ]

I . . . died. Before I came here.

[thirtythird]

[All of this is odd. Everything's been odd since waking on this ship. Somehow, certain things still knock him through a loop.

This is one of those things. This tenses his fingers tight against Loki's skin, forehead pushing hard against forehead, momentarily desperate to feel the reality of standing with a living, breathing being.]

[dothelokimotion]

[ it's a lot and loki feels unwound by mentioning it, but he sighs against william, his arms slipping around him. ]

I'm still here. It's all right. I'm still here.

[thirtythird]

You're-- here.

[That's true. That's real. That's something he can feel, palpably.]

You are.